Wednesday, September 24, 2014
♥ Prelims
Wow, the last time I actually updated this (really dead) blog was April last year. But I'm just glad that I have a space that I can rant at haha.
It's not like my Prelims are over, but I'm already on the verge of giving up because I'm always screwing up every single paper that I take. And given my inferiority complex that mocks my (already low level of) intelligence, I feel pretty horrible after every paper.
It's like a bioaccumulation of disappointment. In math you realize you lost 30+ marks because you misinterpreted question intents, or in physics when you re-read your notes and you notice that you wrote the equation wrongly (such a g e n i u s), your heart just plummets and your brain goes into "mayday mayday" mode.
I'm worried because 40 days to As is really a short period of time. I don't know if I can do it. I don't see myself improving. I'm losing my confidence, and I feel that I don't have the control that I used to have in Os anymore. Plus I'm probably such a ridiculous shit because crying over my grades is so... Immature.
Tbh I stopped comparing myself to my classmates for a while, but I don't understand why I'm back at it again. And I feel horrible because I know that I can never be better/ smarter than them. Then again, it's 40 days to As and if I don't get my shit together I'll run into a lot of problems.
Need to start conserving water by crying less sigh sorry to update with a depressing post.
5:34 PM
